Dear past Nurul Sakila

Okay, I caved. I'm already doing an epilogue.

Reading this again, I learned a lot. I saw how I've changed. That's why I keep my journals and shit, so I can learn from them. Compared to where I once was, the place I am now is darker. A lot. Things back then were so much lighter, and I had no idea how good they were. It's a lesson in appreciating things, I suppose. Or not letting the bad things get you down so much.

I don't mean to say that you should appreciate the way things are now because in the future they are going to be so much worse. But in an open letter to my past self, this is what I am going to say.

Dear Past Nurul Sakila Kardashians, 
There are two categories of things in your current life. A few things that will change and a few things that won't. And there's no way to tell which things fall in which category. It's all tits up.

In a way that's also comforting. It's how life is. It's a big story with a lot of variables. You have to learn which things you can control and which things you can't, so you avoid either wasting time or becoming too fatalistic to function.

You will learn the demons in your head and you will name them. One will be bipolar disorder. One will be rape. One will be self-harming. One will be delusions. One will be alcoholism. One will be daddy issues. There are a few demons you have now that will fade away. And there are more to come. You will learn how to fight them in time.
                By Sakila_AbHajan